A thin line

Well, it's official.  I am a single mother (okay, so not exactly). 

Jeff left and is now in and out of our home on various weekends until we move to North Carolina with him. 

It was really sad for me to see him go.  I felt a little like a teenager watching her boyfriend go away to college.  I find this situation strange and to quote Little Women,  myself strange in it.  I discovered a very thin line between faith and terror that runs through my heart like a vein.  It takes a conscious act of will to allow faith to fill in when terror claws at my every thought. 

Am I crazy to think I can take care of my girls alone, even for one day?
No, Andrea, God knew that you needed to be here, He will equip you.

What if something bad happens or one of the children get sick.  What if they need to be in hospital?  What will I do?
You have a church family, helpers, friends.  God does not leave and He does not abandon.  Trust Him.

What if I fail.  What if I am not enough?  What happens when they need what you can't give them.  Abby is Jeff's little buddy and was heart broken when she realized her dad was gone.  Hannah talks with him every night as he's getting Abby ready for bed, she tells him about her day.  Can they do without that?  Even if it's for the greater good?
Take every thought captive.  Panic is not from God.  Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.

As thought after thought, situations, possibilities, illnesses, the tornado warning that flashed across the T.V. screen last night crash through my mind like relentless waves, I have to counter them with the word of God; with the words that I know are truth.  I stop my own thoughts and run to his, speak to him in prayer.  Faith can be very hard work.

I have to remind myself over and over to trust Him, trust the one who created you.  Trust the God who sees the beginning; El Elyon: The Lord Most High.  El-Shaddai:  The God who is sufficient for the needs of His people.

Trust Him.

I would love to know how or when you have trusted God when through human eyes, it seems impossible to make it through.  I am on the second day of this particular journey.  The finish line seems far, far away.  How do you deal with struggles you know are far beyond your ability to handle on your own?