Dry?

"So he did what the LORD had told him. He went to the Kerith Ravine, east of the Jordan, and stayed there. The ravens brought him bread and meat in the morning and bread and meat in the evening, and he drank from the brook. Some time later the brook dried up because there had been no rain in the land.  Then the word of the LORD came to him:  “Go at once..."  1 Kings 17:5-9 (niv)

I've been thinking a lot about the last year.  It was one year ago that Abby got sick.  She hasn't been in school for a year and hasn't really been healthy in that amount of time.  Before that, Emily was struggling with seizures daily.  She also still deals with that most days. 

I wrote a post about one year later that I didn't post.  It was fine and spoke of what we had been through and where we are now.  It was a perfectly fine post, but I never felt like it was done.  Then I started reading about Elijah.  I suddenly understood why nothing I was writing felt right. 

I have been living life with these children for fourteen years.  None of them have been easy.  I should know without question that God has a plan and is working in ways I might never understand.  I don't think I struggle with the situation as much as not being able to see where I'm going, or why.  So, I do question because where and why matter to me.

I'll admit that I'm a little intimidated by the prophet Elijah and generally don't relate much with him.  God had chosen him, and he was faithful.  I don't see him continuously questioning God's plans the way I do.  But as I read the passage above, something jumped out at me.  God must have known that Elijah was willing to do what He asked of him, without question.  What struck me was the phase "the brook dried up". 

God knew Elijah was a faithful servant, but was he also so very human like me?  He could clearly hear the voice of God and did as he was told, but God had the brook dry up before He asked Elijah to move.  As He had been providing for all of Elijah's needs, he stayed where he was and waited.  God could have simply said, "Elijah, go at once...", but He didn't.  The brook dried up first.  There was nothing left for him in the place he was in, so when God said "move!", he did so quickly. 

I can't help but wonder if all of the provision had been there, water to drink from, meat brought by ravens, and communion with God, would he have been as receptive?  Was he like you and me enough for God to have allowed the brook to dry when He could have fed it forever supernaturally?  I believe that Elijah would have obeyed God even if he had everything he needed there, but I also believe that God knew that His confused child (me) would be reading one day and desperately need to understand that His way sometimes allows one place to become uninhabitable so His plan can be realized.  I think that options dry up in one place in life so that moving forward is not only easier, but necessary.  The Living Word never ceases to amaze me. 

So, I think that's been my problem lately.  I want the brook that understand to continue to nourish our family.  I want the place I know and feel comfortable in to be there for us.  I have been sitting at a brook that God allowed to dry up for more than a year.  I have been waiting for Him to send a healing rain, restoring what was, when perhaps I should have quickly moved to the next place God had for us.  The brook dried up, there is nothing there, but God is God and that means that somewhere else there is something for us.  He does not leave and He does not forsake. 


I have struggled to find a church that fits here, and I have struggled with ongoing, seemingly never ending medical problems. This is definitely a season of change for my family, but also a season of blessings.  It is so very easy to focus on everything that is wrong with the girls.  But I am going to try really hard to move from that place--the dry river--and head to the place I really believe God wants us to be.  Just as He'd already prepared Elijah and the next place he would be, so I am certain He has a place for all of us where we are.  

I now have to do what I can to deal with what we have to in the present (which has been trying lately) while moving forward to the future God has planned for us.