Test results

It's only Tuesday (Wednesday now, because I can never finish anything), so I'm not sure I can call this another whirlwind week, but it feels like it. Sarah has been home from school and continues to run fevers although she feels pretty good. She wants to go to school tomorrow so she isn't so far behind, but her temp is still consistently above 101. Emily came home from school okay saying she felt bad again. No fever yet, but she refused lunch at school, and dinner. She had a piece of butter bread, an applesauce, and 2 grapes. That's it. Ugh.

Her upper GI went great. We went through so many of those with Abby, and never had good news. Actually, every single one was worse that the one before. I didn't even realize how difficult it was to go through it until it was over. Emily did awesome, and the radiologist was great with her. It looked perfect. Absolutely no reflux or g-tube issues. Her belly emptied well, and showed no remnants of the SMA syndrome she had. Praise the LORD!

As I watched the screen (this test is real time), I was overwhelmed with gratitude. I had tears leaving the hospital. I realized how much I focused on Abby's weight, intake, output, bmi, and calories. It never had anything to do with any of that. Emily weighs less than Abby did when she died. Abby did not digest food. That was all. It stayed in her belly for hours and made her horribly sick. So simple, and so devastating. I always think of it as such a complicated situation, and in many ways it was. It was also very basic. Her stomach did not work.

We put 260cc in Emily's belly. It moved quickly through. She felt good. She was laughing at us. I watched her picture perfect scan, and couldn't help thinking of Abby Grace and the numerous times I held her hands through that test as she gagged and wretched. I watched and waited for the tiny 60cc we slowly trickled in, to move. At all. I watched her curved spine completely block her intestines. I held her hands as her swollen intestines slowly, finally appeared on the screen. It still hurts my heart.

It's not possible for two people to have more night and day results than my identical twin girls did. Nor could they have evoked such vastly different responses in me. I will always wish it could have been different for Abby, but I also could not possibly be more thankful for Emily's working belly.

Emily did have broken toes. My poor baby. It's pitiful. There's nothing we can do for it, and they will heal quickly. :) She's already feeling better.

I love good news, and I LOVE that I don't have to take Emily to a surgeon, and decide if we can all really go through that again. Emily's Nissen and g-tube placement when she 6, was very difficult and it took more than a year of intense work to get her to eat by mouth again. But not today. That gets to stay in the past.

We still live a whirlwind life, but not scary today!