After all she's been through in the last year and a half, we all expected her to slip quietly and quickly from this world. I have been walking around with an elephant on my chest feeling like I can't breathe, and don't get me wrong, this is still sad, but she is just so Abby that I'm amazed. We are in awe.
She has somehow managed to mix her nights and days up. She's up all night, mostly unhappy because it's not daytime. She is running a fever, which is normal for this process, but she doesn't feel too bad. She also doesn't look bad. Without so much fluid swelling her up, she looks more like herself.
What is really incredible is that she wants to taste things the last few days. She was loving apple juice on the sponge. Then she wanted lemonade. Today, she had all sorts of juices, milk, and loved a grape popsicle.
After all the months of trying, begging, and bribing her to taste anything, I can't believe that now, now, she wants it. She's not getting much, and she can't swallow well, but the fact is she really wants it. At first, I felt awful because I thought she was thirsty, but she doesn't actually want to drink, she just likes the taste of things. It reminds us all so much of Abby before she got sick, that it's a very strange mix of joy and heartbreak. Somewhere in my brain, I can't help but wonder if she could actually turn around.
All the things she wants to try!
The doctor says that her body hasn't been processing fluids well in a long time and it placed a lot of stress on her organs. She is more comfortable without the fluid, and even though it's only temporary, she feels better. She feels like tasting for the first time. How weird is that? Hospice says they have never seen a child like Abby. She really is our Amazing Abby-Grace!
Jeff and I are exhausted with Abby not sleeping, but we can't help but smile at how unbelievably resilient she is.
Emily is on her second antibiotic, and her white count is still rising. She had a chest X-ray this morning. Jeff is back at the doctors with her now. She is still running high fevers. She is also still mad about not being able to go to school. I'm with her there.
I have no idea about how the rest of this week will progress, but for today, I can only be grateful, albeit completely shocked, awed, and surprised by how it's been so far. Things can and likely will change quickly, but I wanted to remember this day.
Abby sticking out her purple Popsicle tongue.
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