Emily first. She's doing great overall. I've been very, very busy with her, but not in a bad way. She started school (1/2 days) in a school she's not zoned for, so I am busy taking her to and from school. It's a huge change from being home a lot to running around all the time. I'm finding that I need to organize my time better to fit everything in, which explains the lack of time at the keyboard. I'm not sure how in love I am with high school, but I'm trying to give it a fair shot.
She had an upper GI last week because she drains out a yucky mix of formula and other nasty stomachy things from her tube all the time. She also consistently has blood in her belly from what we assume is the tube irritating it. Her blood counts are fine, so we know it isn't serious. We are waiting to hear when we can replace the tube. She's scheduled for a dental October3, which isn't a big deal, but we don't want her to go under anesthesia twice too close together. The upper GI showed the SMA syndrome resolving which is a huge blessing, but she's not quite ready to be done with the J-tube yet. After we replace this one, we shouldn't have to do it again. This should last about 6 months and she'll be done with it by then! YAY!!
Hannah and Sarah are both fine. Sarah is doing awesome in band and as an 8th grader. Hannah is trying to figure out what to major in. She's two years into college and still not quite sure. She's working on it though. Having a 20 year old is hard in a completely different way :/
We just passed a year without our Abby girl in our arms. I wanted to write about it, but just couldn't. It is simply so, so sad. My heart broke. I think I felt everything I would have a year ago if I hadn't been so numb and sleep deprived. When she actually died, having her was still so fresh in my mind and even my body. I held her for so many hours last summer, that when she died it almost felt like I just put her down for a minute. The longing to hold her and see her smile hadn't yet seeped in to my soul. A year without holding my child is almost unbearable. I miss so many things about her. I have her clothes in a plastic bag without the air in it. I just want to smell her and remember what it felt like to have her. I miss that little girl. Every day is another day away from her and another day towards her.
That's my catch up for now. Hopefully, my schedule will get in line and I will organize myself a little! How's this time of year for you?
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