I'm about half way through Emily and Abby's 2nd week of school break. Jeff's work schedule has been almost the same as usual, so he hasn't been here very much. I'm a little tired of being so needed. I always hate the way that sounds. Of course your children need you. But they need me!
It's so constant. I wish I could just say, I don't feel like cooking, let’s have pizza tonight. The girls can't chew pizza so I'd have to make something for them to eat anyway, might as well cook.
I'm not going to get whiny, but anyone who knows me , knows that I struggle when I don't have time in my day to regroup. That's what happens when the girls are not in school. They feel it too. They get bored and miss the pace at school. We all get a little edgy. I told Emily this morning--You are going to get back into your routine this week, girly, no more loosey goosey! She started kicking her feet and gave a real loud "yeah". She likes routine. I see it as relaxing to not be so hurried, she sees it as insecurity. Next week, I'll keep her on a schedule and see if that helps us all.
We did have a good Christmas; I love the heart of my girls. They are so sweet. Nana and Papa sent Sarah a necklace. It came in a little velvet pouch. Sarah opened that box and said "I love it Mom, it's the best little pouch I ever saw". It's so Sarah to be happy with right where she is. I'll say it a lot, that little girl has been a healer of my heart. I'm thankful for her.
Abby's been dealing with a cold. Just when I think she's a little better, her temperature goes back up and then she started coughing a lot Christmas day. She really doesn't feel that well. She wants only me. I think I have some sort of defect in that area. I have friends that want to be with their children every second. They love to be so needed. I don't. I want them to be independent. I want them to know I'm here if they do need me, just not all the time.
God is concerned with our every need. He says to bring it all to him. To lay it at his feet. Man, I'm glad I'm not God. I have a hard time understanding the concept of bringing it all to him. I want to, but I don't know how to let go, and then because I don't appreciate that "needy" quality in myself or others, it's hard for me to truly comprehend what He means when he says that.
I lean on him, I rely on him, and I understand that He is our source. I also "handle" it on my own all the time. I bring to him what I can't handle. More often than not, he's got my back. I need to let him drive.
Another lesson Emily and Abby are teaching me. They have to work on my schedule, they have to eat when I feed, sleep when I put them to bed. I think I know what's best for them, so that's how I care for them. They don't have to worry about those things getting done; they know someone is taking care of it. God wants to do this for me, if I would only let him more often. Think how much easier my life would be if I could just get it!
It's so constant. I wish I could just say, I don't feel like cooking, let’s have pizza tonight. The girls can't chew pizza so I'd have to make something for them to eat anyway, might as well cook.
I'm not going to get whiny, but anyone who knows me , knows that I struggle when I don't have time in my day to regroup. That's what happens when the girls are not in school. They feel it too. They get bored and miss the pace at school. We all get a little edgy. I told Emily this morning--You are going to get back into your routine this week, girly, no more loosey goosey! She started kicking her feet and gave a real loud "yeah". She likes routine. I see it as relaxing to not be so hurried, she sees it as insecurity. Next week, I'll keep her on a schedule and see if that helps us all.
We did have a good Christmas; I love the heart of my girls. They are so sweet. Nana and Papa sent Sarah a necklace. It came in a little velvet pouch. Sarah opened that box and said "I love it Mom, it's the best little pouch I ever saw". It's so Sarah to be happy with right where she is. I'll say it a lot, that little girl has been a healer of my heart. I'm thankful for her.
Abby's been dealing with a cold. Just when I think she's a little better, her temperature goes back up and then she started coughing a lot Christmas day. She really doesn't feel that well. She wants only me. I think I have some sort of defect in that area. I have friends that want to be with their children every second. They love to be so needed. I don't. I want them to be independent. I want them to know I'm here if they do need me, just not all the time.
God is concerned with our every need. He says to bring it all to him. To lay it at his feet. Man, I'm glad I'm not God. I have a hard time understanding the concept of bringing it all to him. I want to, but I don't know how to let go, and then because I don't appreciate that "needy" quality in myself or others, it's hard for me to truly comprehend what He means when he says that.
I lean on him, I rely on him, and I understand that He is our source. I also "handle" it on my own all the time. I bring to him what I can't handle. More often than not, he's got my back. I need to let him drive.
Another lesson Emily and Abby are teaching me. They have to work on my schedule, they have to eat when I feed, sleep when I put them to bed. I think I know what's best for them, so that's how I care for them. They don't have to worry about those things getting done; they know someone is taking care of it. God wants to do this for me, if I would only let him more often. Think how much easier my life would be if I could just get it!
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