Mental health?

I took what I hoped would be a mental health day and spent some one-on-one time with my sweet Sarah.  I really should have known better than to call it that because of course I ended up thirty feet in the air on a ropes/zip line course.  As of today, I am diagnosing myself with a previously undiagnosed fear of heights. 

I don't like flying, but I thought that was the whole terrorism/falling out the sky thing.  Apparently, there's more to it than that.  Standing on what appeared to be a much bigger platform from the ground, giving a whole new meaning to the term "tree hugger", Sarah says "you're doing great Mom, but you have to let go"!   She has this awesome sweet way of just cutting to point.  To be fair, she and I were both a little afraid, but we made it through.  She thinks she had the best day ever, I have rope burn from holding on to that sucker as hard as I could.

I really thought of this day as getting a little break from Emily and Abby.  They are so ready for school, and let me just tell you...I am right there with ya sista's.  I love them to pieces and this has been a very good summer for us but I am just going to get real.  I am sick of putting food in another persons mouth.

There I said it.  I am afraid of falling to the hard, unforgiving earth and chose walking across a steel cable to feeding my kids.  Wake up, bottle/tube feeding, breakfast, snack, lunch, bottle/tube feeding, snack, dinner, bottle/tube feeding, bed.  Day in and out.  Every single year at the end of the summer that is my complaint.  I am sick of feeding children.  (Okay seriously, in my heart of hearts I am grateful to God for the food and their ability to eat it, and my ability to lift my arms and give them what they can't give themselves)  But, I am no martyr and I do have those days where I would consider strapping a feed bag on them if I thought it would work. 

They will go back to school in a little more than a week and some precious soul will lift that spoon for me and feed.  My girls will be happy to eat for someone new and exciting and they will not have been bored all summer where the most fun game they can come up with is "let me spit my food out and see if my mom can catch it before the dog".  

There are many, many joys to this life, but some I just don't love as much as others.  I will probably feel terribly guilty and delete this post later, but that's what I'm thinking now. 

What's in your life that you're grateful for, but just down right get tired of doing?  Am I really all alone here?