Random thoughts and Abby update

I just finished putting Abby and Emily to bed.  I am slowly settling in to our new routine.  It still takes me an hour to get all of Abby's stuff together, but I'm not as overwhelmed by it as I was in the beginning. 

 Sleeping Beauties!!

Abby's doing alright.  She struggles everyday with nausea and it's always a numbers game to be sure that she gets enough fluids in, but she is definitely happier here.  Being with family heals the heart; all of ours. She started therapies this week (PT, OT, Speech) to help regain some strength.

I am regaining some strength too.  I get to snuggle-buggle-huggle (cush-word) with my Emily.  She needs her Mama home every day.  She's a mama girl for sure, thankfully, I'm an Emily girl.  I just love being here with my kids.  I'm starting to get it together as much as I ever did, although I'll admit it was much harder than I expected. 

~The laundry did not get the memo that I am very busy now.  Come to think of it, I don't think anything or anyone around here got that memo.
Actually, my church did.  Despite my repeated proclamations of being fine, they extended the meal deliveries for a while longer.  It has been very helpful, to say the least.  As hard as it is to be on the receiving end of so much extra help and love when I'd rather be the one helping and loving, I'm grateful for my wonderful church family. 

Yummy!!

~Jeff and I had the opportunity to attend church this week.  I have missed it more than anything else in this situation.  It is such a source of strength and renewal.  Beyond teaching and molding, it supports and nurtures.  If someone is reading this without a good home church, I pray you find one.  There is nothing else that can fill  the place in your life where the Lord and His body of believers should be. 

~Abby saw the Dr. today.  I love her doctors.  I know they are doing everything they can to help her and that is an unimaginable comfort.  She's doing slightly better as far as residuals go, but not enough to increase her feedings.  We have decided to try yet another plan.  We're changing her formula again.  The new one is a more elemental formula without the milk bases.  She has never had milk-based products in her life, so I think that has a big part to do with her lack of digestion.  I also started her on probiotics and some digestive enzymes from the health food store.  I also chose to replace the 20cc water flushes with carrot/celery juice.  I feel strongly about giving her some "live" food.  I can't stand everything going in her being processed and artificial.  Someone should come up with an organic, non-milk based, healthy (but high in calorie) formula.  Any takers?

~She's been running a low grade temp the last few days which had her Dr. worried about a central line infection, but besides the fever, she looks great.  We did blood cultures today, but I'm sure there's nothing there.  She looks way too good for a big infection to be brewing.  We're watching her closely though.  Her Dr. reminded me not to ignore any changes in her right now because she's still so fragile.  I probably needed to hear that because I'm ready for her to be well and done with all of this.  The temp didn't concern me in the slightest.  It still doesn't.  She just needs more fluids than her little belly can handle.  I hope we're finally on the right track with the changes we're making now. 

~Hannah has prom this weekend.  It's senior week at her school too.  How do I have a senior in High School?  Wasn't I just a senior yesterday?

~Um, no.  I had a birthday last week to remind me that I am not a high school girl anymore.  This is my birthday present.  I LOVE it, but I feel a little old getting so excited about a coffee pot!  Who am I kidding?  I love my coffee. 

~My parents bought this Jelly Bean machine for us while Abby was in the hospital.  I've kept a stash of change nearby to get into the candy.  It's really cute and kind-of fun.  I bought replacement jelly beans today to refill the machine, then when I couldn't get the top off, it occurred to me...just eat them right out of the bag, girl.  It is better to make them harder for the kids to get quickly, but really, do I need to fight for my jelly beans?

~Writing when so much is going on is extremely difficult for me.  Everyday is so different. The words go in all different directions in my head.  I'm sure this does not come as a surprise to anyone who's stuck with this post all the way down here.

~Emily is not sleeping well tonight.  I've been in there 1/2 dozen times since I started this post, further contributing to the scatter.

~God is good all the time.

~Bible verse I love and a good way to end:
"Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth."  1 John 3:18