2012

Finally.  We made it into a new year.  I'm not even a little bit sorry to say good bye to 2011. 

Difficult would be a kind word for our year.  Even though we carry all that happened last year to the new year with us, I am optimistic. I hope Abby would be able to return to school soon.  A few mornings a week would be great!  She doesn't have much energy, so I don't expect a lot.  We are only 6 weeks away from her being out of school for an entire year.  :(

I had a wonderful visit with my Florida BFF and her family.  It was great to spend the week after Christmas with her.  I needed it.  The girls did great and we had some fun!  Abby still struggles with too much activity, but we were able to take her out a few days.

We went bowling one day, which was a little sad for me.  It's Abby's favorite thing to do and she was so excited to go.  She didn't really have the energy to do what she normally does.  She usually walks in her walker and throws her little hand up to push the ball, but she couldn't do it.  She stayed in her wheelchair, quietly taking her turn and watching others take theirs.  I ached  for another loss in her life.  But even as I wished for her to be the way she was, I felt gratefulness. 

I was so thankful for every day I didn't feel like loading the walker in to the car, but did anyway.  I was thankful for each time the girls wanted to go bowling and I was way too tired, but I did it anyway.  I looked at her so tiny and pale last week and was so thankful  that we had given her what we could when she was able. 

Life is unpredictable.  Never in a million years could I have imagined what our life is now.  We lived each day.  Not because we were fearful of missing something, but simply because this is life and living is what we do with it.  It helps to have lived it as fully as possible.  Even though I'm sad that it's not the same, when she could do it, I didn't miss one single step in a bowling ally (profound---right?  lol).

So that's the attitude I hope I'm carrying in to 2012.  I will do all that I can, as much as I can and be grateful for what is.  I am going to try very hard to not feel so sad for what's gone and embrace what is.  We made it.  All six of us lived through the whole year.  I honestly wasn't sure that would be the case.  Now we can look forward to a better year.  No matter what it holds, at least we are all together. 

God is good and I can't wait to see where He leads our family this year.