I wasn't sure I could be a good mother. I didn't think I was equipped to care for a child the way I wanted to. I even thought seriously of adoption. Jeff did not think that was an option. It wouldn't have been for me either, after I saw her sweet face. I wasn't always the mom I wanted to be, but she sure was a great teacher.
Little pixie Hannah came screaming into the world at 7:35pm. She was tiny (4lb 10oz), but perfect. I loved her instantly and overwhelmingly. I, like most mothers couldn't have prepared for the way I loved her. Many times over the years, I have been incredibly grateful for the gift of a healthy first child. She changed my entire life
She was so fun! I loved every single stage of childhood. I didn't think I could love my infant more, then she would do something new. She learned to talk early and well, but didn't walk until she was more than 16 months old. It's really is a miracle. Every little thing babies learn to do amaze me. So many things have to go right for all of it to work, and so often it does. Amazing.
She's home from college for the summer now, and she and I are trying to figure out this new mother/daughter thing. She's fast becoming her own, but to me, she still feels like my child. I know she always will be, but we're in that in between place. She is figuring out life, and I am learning to let go. Parenting is definitely a journey.
Happy Birthday Hannah! You are a beautiful young lady. You have been a wonderful child. You were stubborn, strong willed, sometimes just flat out hard headed. You were also smart, imaginative, inquisitive, and funny. All of it made me who I am, and reminds me of the extravagant gift God gave me in you. Every second of my life is better because you are in it.
~ my girls and me on Mothers Day.
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