Motherhood

I have really good kids. I know how blessed I am. But even really good kids are occasionally going to do things that as a mom, I definitely wish they wouldn't.

Just to preface, this subject is blogged about with my daughters permission.
 
We all know that raising a child is hard work. You teach them, tell them over and over, beg and plead for them to live life in a way that causes them as little pain and suffering as possible.  I love my kids and want them safe and happy. 

Over the years, I have spoken at length with my daughters about common life choices, and what we believe as a family.  I thought just from the nature of my daughter that there were a few we didn't have to worry about.  Topping that list was tattoos (and maybe heroin...don't worry, this post isn't about heroin :). 

Hannah has a well documented fear of needles.  Seriously, 5 people have held her down for a single finger stick before.  She is a certified nut when it comes to that stuff.  If you recall recently the 20mg of Valium it took to get her tooth filled. 

So, I was shocked and less than thrilled when I learned that the little stinker got a tattoo.  Well, still shocked.  I can't believe she paid someone to come at her with a needle--I'll cover that one in a minute. 

She is 19, living at school, and you may be thinking that it's really none of my business.  In some small (technical, perhaps legal) way, you're correct.  In all the rest of possible ways, it's totally my business. 

First, I'll begin with my beef with tattoos in general.  No, I don't think they are the evil of the world, and I've seen some that actually look cool--if you're in to that sort of thing.  As a Christian, I believe that one of our responsibilities is to try to do life God's way (Leviticus 19:28).  Even if we can't understand it in a little thing like a tattoo, I believe that He knows what's best for us.  Just like my kids may not understand the whys of everything I tell them, I still have my reasons.

Secondly, I believe it's a form of bondage.  Some people get them for just that reason.  They want to remember exactly where they were in that moment.  I firmly believe that it is never God's will to emotionally bind us to a single experience our entire lives.  He wants us to move forward.  A little heart on the hip may always be fine, but as a 40 or 50 year old, you may look at it as a silly whim of youth.  You will always know what you were experiencing in that time, and what if that is an experience that God would like to free you from?  It just doesn't make sense to me. 

But here nor there, it's done.  I have a few personal reasons that I specifically wish Hannah hadn't done it now. 

• She used our money.  She doesn't have a job and used the money we give her to do something she knows we don't approve of.  If she's really adult, she makes decisions on her own dime. 
• She didn't tell us.  We found out.  Again, if she's so grown, tell us.
• We would have counselled her to wait a while.  She just lost her sister.  She's hurting and making very emotional choices.  She could face the needle because the worst thing that could happen did (losing Abby) so needles aren't so scary.  She may have still chosen to get a tattoo in 6 months or a year, and I would have still wished she hadn't, but at least I wouldn't have felt like she was forever binding herself to the feeling of heartbreak one experiences so soon after a death.  

She was a good kid at the top of this post and she's a good kid at the bottom.  At least she put it where it can only be seen if she's wearing a bathing suit.  whew.  I still have my reasons for not liking them, she still has hers for getting one.  I told her what I felt about it, she will pay us back for it, and now it's over. 

Man, I sure wish kids made motherhood a little easier.