Circle the Wagons

Four days before Christmas...and as always I have big plans! 

The kids are out of school for two weeks!  Oh my, I'm nervous.  I pray it goes well.  Before Christmas I want to make sure the house is nice and neat for the big day.  I have to grocery shop, bake cookies, finish with a little last minute shopping, wrap presents, continuously sweep up after this live tree I was so thrilled to get, and finish and mail Christmas cards (cutting it close).  It doesn't seem like that much of a list with 4 days to go, but it doesn't take in to account actually taking care of the kids with the daily cooking, cleaning and caring that goes on around here. 

In the perfect world that exists in my head, all of this is possible and goes off without a hitch, right up to Christmas morning with all of us gathered around the tree drinking hot chocolate and smiling sweetly.

Why?  I ask you why can't all of these people in this house live in my head??? 

Abby woke up with a cold this morning.  Simple sentence, but not at all simple.  She coughed a little as she was going to bed last night and I knew instantly that my plans had changed.  She has a little fever;  99.6 when she woke up, 100.2 after breakfast 100.8 mid morning.  I'm watching my Christmas week slip away as the thermometer goes up. 

For most people, it wouldn't be a big deal.  It may not be a big deal for me this time either.  The problem is I just don't know.  I instinctually circle the wagons.  I get ready for an all out raid.  I move into the mode of "what has to be done?"  How am I most prepared for the possibility of this child spending Christmas in the hospital?  Presents should be wrapped in case someone else has to put them under the tree.  Last minute gifts can wait, I probably have enough already.  Straighten the house up and organize it for the possibility of Jeff having to be here alone.  Make sure all of my lists are updated for doctors and family.  Pack an overnight bag--just in case--and don't forget the cell phone charger. 

Take the temp again 101.0.  She really doesn't feel like drinking, but she is.  I know that I have 6-8 hours if she won't drink while running a fever before she's dehydrated and just wants to sleep.  Then we have to go to the hospital.  We're not there yet.  We may not get there, but I have to get ready.

This is not a fear response.  This is experience.  This is a result of being stuck in the same clothes for 2 days because I didn't realize how sick my child was or how quickly things can change.  I have learned to plan for the unplanned, to stay prepared.  I don't enjoy it, but I do appreciate the lesson. 

And really, are we not all called to be prepared?  The bible teaches us that God prepares a place for us.  He doesn't scramble at the last minute in case we come.  1Cor. 2:9 says "no eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God prepared for those who love him".  He asks us to prepare for him also:  1 Peter 1:13 Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed.

I know that Abby is sick and that I may need to change what I've planned.  I know that everything could be just fine, or that everything can change forever.  I love that I also know that as I am circling the wagons for my child, he has done the same for me.  He has prepared a place for me and for Abby.  He has prepared my heart for a difficult time and for a beautiful time.  I have prepared my mind to set my hope fully on his plan, so that NO MATTER WHAT, I will not be shaken. 

I cleaned like a maniac this morning, so on the bright side if Abby's fine, that's one thing off my list.  I'll work on the rest while she still feels okay.