Quick Emily Update:

I hope this is my last Flu 2011 update.

I was on target about Emily.  She does have bronchitis (but the lungs sounded clear).  She also has an infected toe, and her G-tube had some bleeding last night.  That's a strange symptom that I don't see very often.  She probably pulled it at some point, but in any case it's red and irritated now. 

All of those things together add up to a 10 day course of antibiotics. 

As far as the extreme weakness goes, he reminded me of what she's been through and said it would be at least a month before she was back to herself.  What's strange is trying to remember what back to herself is.  Is it Emily before she was having so many seizures?  Or was that Emily when she having seizures I didn't know about?

My Emily is funny and smart.  She loves school and jokes.  She thinks boys are cute and puke is ewww.  She loves her dog and her sisters and plays made up games with complicated (and sometimes gory) rules. 

I find myself staring at her now to see if her eyes are focused and alert.  I watch her body language for signs of illness.  I feel her head, and listen to her chest with the stethoscope that is draped across her bed next to her favorite stuffed ferret, Leah.  She is becoming a watched child instead my funny girl. 

My watched child did get cleared to go back to school on Monday for 1/2 days until she is able to build her strength up. Then she can go full time again.  So much better than last time she had the flu when she missed 4 months.

It amazes me that one week ago she was in the hospital after one of the most terrifying days of my life.  When I carried her into that ER, I absolutely KNEW without a doubt that I was holding a child who would die without help--I'm not sure I've ever felt that before.  Feared it, yes.  Known it, no.  She had nearly 105. fever, her heart rate was 150, her blood pressure 90/47.  She was barely opening her eyes and unable to keep any fluids down.  She would have made it another day, maybe two without intervention. 

I'm not being morbid there.  I'm being grateful.  As I drove to the hospital, I couldn't help but feel overwhelmingly grateful-even through the fear--that a 20 minute drive to the hospital, an IV, antibiotics and lots of rest and my daughter would probably be alright.  Then I thought of the countless mamas around the world who hold their sick and dying children with no where to go. 

I'm praying for God's peace in the heavily burdened hearts of those mamas tonight.  I pray he surrounds them with comfort that pours out like rain.  It would truly be a peace that I do not understand because I can't fathom holding Emily so sick and feeling peace in my heart.  I pray that if I ever am, I experience the true depth of His Grace. 

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."   John 14:27 (NIV)