What's a need?

After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need.  Luke 15:14 (NIV)

I'm thinking a whole lot this week about the word need.  I use it so carelessly.  I need a coffee (OK, I might give myself that one).  I need a paper.  I need a break.  I need, need, need. 

I don't need.  Not really.  My daughter needs.  She needs access to her tiny veins so we can feed her.  She needs this or she will get sicker--she already is.  She has to get nutrition so she'll be strong enough for her belly to heal so she can eat.  I need this for her because I can't stand to watch her go through this.  I want to be home with my family, but I need to be here with Abby. 

Her PICC went up the jugular as it enters the skull behind her right ear.  It never goes there.  3 times they've taken the sterile dressing off the site and pulled it out more and more.  It now sits in her neck by the jaw line.  It just doesn't seem to go where we need it to.  I keep trying to feed her, she just won't eat.  It's gone too far for too long.  She has to have energy to get better.  We need this to work for her. 

The verse at the top references the prodigal son.  He thought he needed money and worldly pleasures.  He took all he had and squandered it on meaningless things.  I wonder if he thought he needed those things.  We all think we "need" the things we want in our lives.  The prodigal son quickly learned after he used all of his ill gotten resources that what he needed was food.  He needed to survive and got a job feeding pigs (v15).  In that field he learned that family and home were not such a bad thing to want (vs16-17).  He needed discipline and forgiveness (v24) and he found it--along with some perspective (v21).  I'm feelin' ya brotha!

As I hold my daughters hand on her 10th day without more than bites of food, I am reassessing the word need.  It's so much more than a whim.  It's a longing; a deep desire to see my child thrive.  I am desperate for it with every thought.  I watch her normally strong head flop back as she sits up.  She dozes during the day after nearly every activity, no matter how small.  She needs. 

I hope I remember what this feels like when I'm out of this situation.  I hope I recognize true need and true provision when I see it--for me and my girls.  I pray that I would always be mindful of how truly simple the Lord created our needs to be.  When this is over, I pray that I would see others in need in a different light.  I want to remember that I do not provide for my child, even as I lift a spoon to her mouth.  God makes a way for her and pray He does just that tonight.