Miracles and Martha's

I'm almost afraid to say that things might just settle down for us  a little bit for the next few weeks.  Every day has been packed from first light to moon light with pure busy.  I am a Martha who longs to be a Mary. I want to sit with Jesus and learn from Him, but I usually find myself pulled into "busy" by life. 

Abby is always front and center for us now as nearly 5 months of illness is our focus.  There is good news with her.  She's tolerating the new formula relatively well and we are weaning off of TPN.  If she continues to do well she'll be off in 2 weeks.  I'm definitely nervous, but excited.  The constant risk of infection looming over our heads is something I will not miss.  I also won't miss the hospital feel of our house.  I will miss the security of knowing whatever she does with her feedings during the day, she has a back up.  She's almost made it to her full feeding goal, but not her full fluid requirements.  It'll come, I'm sure. 

As soon as she is stable, we plan to move...just pack up and leave town.  I can't wait to share the responsibility of the kids again.  Not just the work, although I'm looking forward to the help, but the weight of all of the decisions that have to be made for their care.  Jeff did accidentally pull Abby's g-tube out--balloon and all yesterday.  He went to pick her up from her wheelchair and the line caught on the chair and out popped the tube.  Thankfully, we were able to get a new one in quickly.  Drama, drama, drama!

The balloon holds the tube in her stomach, the other part sits on top of her belly where the food goes in.

~We took Emily to a Memorial Day parade that Sarah was in with her Girl Scout troop.  She liked the parade, but she mostly liked Nola being there.  It was really cute. 

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~We found a house in North Carolina that seems perfect for us.  An elderly couple with scooters lived there, so it's fully accessible.  I couldn't have dreamed a more perfect place to live.  As a matter of fact, I did dream this house.  It's an older house, which I love.  It's not extravagant or elegant, but it looks like a home to me.  It has an elevator and wide doors.  There are no steps to get outside and the best part is it has a small house out back for family.  We love to have family visit, but it's hard to have people in the house so long with the girls.  I always thought it was a distant dream to have a guest house.  This house is right in the middle of our price range and $30,000 less than the house we're in now. 

We are praying for a miracle regarding this house.  We aren't sure we can swing it with our current house and lenders not wanting to lend in this market.  God is a big God and if this is where we are supposed to be, it will work out.  But, it will be a miracle, so I am boldly asking Him for it.  I can't wait to see how He answers.  I need some pure-good in our lives now!!

~Speaking of good, I've been a Martha lately because I was getting ready for Hannah's graduation.  Company coming in, and party planning have kept me very busy.  It all went very well and we couldn't be more proud or excited for Hannah.  I know I'm going to miss having her here everyday when she goes to college, but it's a very cool mix of knowing it's her time and wishing she would stay.  I have raised a child that I not only love, but like.  She's smart, funny, confident and overall just a cool girl.  She absolutely does things that drive me crazy, but I'm sure I drive her nuts too. 

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~We also found out 5/31 that effective 6/1 our personal care hours for the girls would be cut in half.  That's always fun for summer.  We are down to six shared hours per day.  I'm not sure if the Lord is just closing doors for us here as we prepare to move or if I need to continue to fight for Emily and Abby.  It's very confusing.  I'm going to appeal because we still have a while here in Fl and need the help.  I wish it could be easy sometimes.  It's just not.  :(

~On a sad note, one of my blog friends lost her precious son this week.  He went to bed and just didn't wake up here on earth.  He is so much like Emily and Abby, and his mom has been an amazing source of strength and wisdom for me.  She understands how I feel about my girls and has been able to help me many times just by saying just the right thing.  I've never met her in person, but I grieve her sweet boy and my heart aches for her loss.  I can't help but see myself and my children in her situation.  I have always done so.  I look at pictures of him now, looking for something, anything, that's different about him from my kids and it's just not there.  I have laid my daughters down to bed the last few nights with an extra kiss and a routine that slowed down just a bit.  I think there is never enough time.  Please pray for this family as God walks them through this time. 

~I am going to try hard to get in to a summer routine quickly and pray that our move goes miraculously smoothly.  I am going to work on being a Mary in my Martha world this summer.  I am excited now, because I'll finally see what God saw last March when Jeff lost his job.  I'll finally get to see how He brings this crazy, hard year to a close. 

~Speaking of closing, I'll leave you with the first 18 years of our sweet Hannah.  Enjoy!