I have 3 beautiful children, a husband who loves me, a stable, safe home, food, family, and lots of love in my life, and most importantly a relationship with Jesus, the one who has my child in His arms.
I don't want losing Abby to define us. I want having and knowing her to define us.
I want to be grateful for her life. For every second we had her and what she still means to our family. I just wish I could take a deep breath without the pain of her absence filling me.
She loved Thanksgiving. The cooking, planning, and shopping are right up her alley. That excited squeal is missing. Those little fingers that worked so hard to pour, measure, and if she could manage to catch you with your back turned, knock over the bowl and anything in it. That was her favorite. She would laugh at the mess she made, and us.
Then there's this awful guilty part that recognizes how much easier it is. I can get a lot done, but I feel silly for having wanted that.
I'm going to do my best to have an attitude of gratefulness because I am. This is a year of transition, but I feel blessed for what we do have, and as much as I miss my daughter, I am thankful she isn't suffering. Last year she was so sick that she didn't enjoy it like she did before. That broke my heart too. At least she feels perfect where she is.
I love that line. Gratitude turns what we have into enough. What's incredible is that it also turns what's missing into enough too.
Happy Thanksgiving!
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Have a Blessed Thanksgiving with your family...
ReplyDeleteGod Bless....
Love from High Point
I came across your blog and have been following along for the last couple of months. My thoughts and prayers have been with you over that time, and especially in the last 24 hours. My fifth grade daughter lost a classmate on Thanksgiving evening. She had juvenile leukodystrophy, but while we knew the day was coming, it didn't make it easier. I kept trying to tell myself that now this little girl could run and dance and her smile was shining down on us all, but it feels so dark here now. My prayers and thoughts continue to be with your family, and I'm very grateful for your blog so her parents can know they aren't alone in this horrific experience. God bless you.
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