New Years

Oh my goodness! Is it Thursday and the third of January already? The year is flying by and we're only 3 days in.

I'm not generally a New Years resolution kinda girl, but this year, everything is different.

When Abby died, I gave myself the rest of the year for absolutely nothing. Just survive day to day. I wanted to be still as much as possible. I cried as much as I wanted and except in the presence of my kids, didn't try to pull it together. Almost 4 months of consistent grief.

Don't get me wrong, I will grieve for my precious daughter the rest of my life. Until she is with me again, I will ache for her. I'm sure I will have days that I can barely get through. But, life has to slowly move on again too, which means I need to begin to form a plan.

I think that plan will include some form of work, mostly because earning my keep might be fun :)

I stopped working when the twins were born because they needed so much. Now, I have a lot of time on my hands. I need to find something to do that I can make a little money with and still have some flexibility if Emily needs me. I don't know what that is, but I want to try something. Hmmmm, what should I do?

I do have a few personal resolutions. Pioneer Woman (a blog I read) used the word resolution for an acronym, so I'll give it a shot too. I'm not going to think of them as resolutions as much as continued life goals, with as much grace sprinkled in as possible.




R- Read my Bible. I would love to spend a year of consistency. Reading, learning, and taking it all in.
I don't want to be greedy with "R", but I need 2.
The second is Remember. I want to find a way or cause that honors and remembers Abby. I'm not sure which way to go with that, but I want to remember. Every. Day.




E- Exercise. Ya, that just about says it all. (I would like to say I am fatty-McFatty here, but I'm being a little nicer to myself-- see "U")




S- Socialize. I am a social girl, and I miss my friends. This is where God allowed us to be, and I have to make a life here. The first year didn't count because I never left the house when I wasn't heading to the hospital. I'm going to spend time with my friends, whom I dearly love, and try to make new ones.

O- I was warned this one was tough, and it is. I'll go with Offer. Offer to help, listen, pray, or be there when needed. Offer myself as much as my battered little heart can to serve others.

L- Love. Deeply. Completely. Freely.

U- Become more Understanding. There is no need to be so hard on myself or those around me. I need to chill out a bit.

T- Think things through. I have lived a life of only reacting and responding to situations. I have time now, and I realize that I can stop and think more often.

I- Invest time and energy in my family and each day that God has given me. I don't want to waste it, or miss it!

O- Oh no! Another O.
Operate my keyboard. A sneaky little way to say write. I love to write and have several unfinished projects, and many more in my head. Even if I never do anything with it, I'd like to finish something.

N- Notice the little things. What I remember most clearly about Abby's life are all the small moments that made it so meaningful. She was legally blind, and we often described the world to her, and the sounds she heard. It made it incredibly special for me to be on this created planet with her. I want to keep that gift she gave.


Happy new year!