The answer is an easy yes! Absolutely.
We've spoken with her numerous times over the years about death and Heaven. I never wanted my girls to be afraid. Because they are at greater risk than the general population, I wanted them to be as prepared as possible.
Although its not the same, Emily also experienced the sudden death of her beloved service dog, Bindy, when she was 8. I remember explaining how Bindy ran away during a storm. She laughed and giggled as I told her how we searched through the night and even had the police looking for her. Then I told her that Bindy was found at 2:30 am, and that sadly she had been hit by a car. She couldn't come home.
Emily's face changed slowly as I literally watched her brain process the words I said. Then the pain of the loss washed over her, and she sobbed in a way I've never seen before.
She understands.
Preparing her for Abby's death was tricky. I didn't want to mention Cerebral Palsy or anything that could scare Emily about her own mortality. I wanted to be sure that she understood that Abby's issues were very specific to her. We used Bindy as an example many times. Emily understood this and was sad, but not shocked. Like the rest of us, she knew how sick Abby was.
When she came home this week with an assignment she started at school with her speech therapist, I realized exactly how much my girl knows.
Question- Tell me about a person, event or trip that taught you something
Emily (on her computer)- I have a twin sister named Abby.
Q-What did you learn from Abby?
E- Happy
Q-How did Abby teach you to be happy?
E- Mall and Love.
She later expanded this to say Abby loved the mall and she loved Emily.
Q-How did Abby feel most of the time?
E- Sick.
Q- Is there anything she liked to do even though she felt sick?
E- Bake.
Q- It's important because she felt sick and still wanted to go to the mall and bake. How do you feel sometimes?
E- Yucky.
Can you give another word?
E- Weak.
I feel weak.
Me too Emily.
She understands.
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