Better

Abby has had a surprisingly good day. She's still weak and obviously has something going on, but it could have been a virus. So far blood cultures are negative.

I am so thankful for this unanticipated good day. Even the doctors are surprised at how well she's doing. Her vital signs are stable, no more seizures, and though the fever was stubborn through the night, today she's been good. If it's bacterial, the antibiotics shes on are doing their job.

She stayed in ICU today in case she had more seizures, but no doubt tomorrow she will move to the regular peds floor.

I am exhausted and confused from the emotional roller coaster I'm on, but thankful for every day that Abby feels well. Maybe even more thankful for this day that I didn't expect. This morning the doctors spoke with us again about the seriousness of Abby's condition, and by the end of the day, they were very happy with her.

With every day that passes I am even more convinced that God is completely in control of Abby's time here. Each time that we think it's over or time to stop, she rebounds with very little intervention. There will be a day when that is not the case, and we will trust Him with her then too.

I never understand people who question their faith and God when things go wrong. When did we start believing that God only exists when we get our way? If a person can't believe and trust God while holding their dying child, then what good is faith ever going to be? If you can't hold it, and let it hold you in your very worst moment, why believe?

God created and loves us. He promises good to those who love Him. He doesn't promise only good will pass through our lives. He says to trust Him, and He will direct the path. In this very difficult valley we are walking through, I believe that is true with every single step.

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. (Romans 12:1, 2 NIV)