Odds and Ends

~Good news first. Our family pictures turned out great. We got very sweet pictures of everyone. I am very happy with them. It's a relief to have that done. I thought I would have to give up on that particular dream. Having them now is something I'll always treasure. 

Emily, Sarah, Hannah, and Abby

We have a lot of them to go through so I'll post as we go. Thanks for praying with us for these. Thank you, God for this blessing.

~ Hannah had a root canal today. NOT fun, but again, thankful its done. That was not easy because Hannah strongly dislikes hates needles. This was attempt two. The dentist gave her Valium, which did the trick. :) 

She starts classes Monday. There is so much to do for her. I doubt we'll get even close. She'll have to make do for now. She has to move in this weekend.  When we have a little more time we can catch up. Another year of rushing her to school and running back home to a sick child is insane. We all seriously need some calm.

~ Sarah's doing well. She is loving on Abby all the time. She is a wonderful sister. As much work as Abby can be, she loves her and will do anything for her. At the end of photos Abby didn't feel well, but Sarah didn't care. She said she wanted her picture with her anyway because we would know Abby was in there. I love that little girl.

Sarah and Jaws--I mean Glory

~ Emily has been sick the last 5 days. She's running an on and off fever. She's needed break-thru seizure meds all of those days. Today she started throwing up. She didn't keep much down all day. I did manage to get 6 ounces of pedialyte in her tonight. I think it's just a virus, but we all know too well how awful virus' can be for my girls. I'm praying it's nothing, and so far she looks okay. Her nurse has been pampering her, which she loves. This is a cool washcloth on her head and her favorite snuggy. Lol

She's a princess

~ I found someone to design my new blog and I am so excited to work on it sometime in September.  I loaded a quick template because those pictures at the top were driving me crazy and somehow my pages got moved and I couldn't move them back.  Anyway, I am thrilled that someone who actually knows what they are doing is going to help me :))  So. Excited.

~ Abby Grace. She had her baclofen pump refilled today. It wasn't a good appointment. We had to wait 25 minutes just to check in, which made me unreasonably nutty. Normally that wouldn't bother me, but today it did. That was her last doctors appointment, and they know how sick she is, so I thought it shouldn't have taken an hour. It was hard on her physically, and very hard for me emotionally. Everyday, every single day, I still want this to be different for her. 

Today at the doctor.  And why most of our pictures are in black and white ;)

Her bowel sounds continue to be intermittent, with all sorts of other nasty symptoms of GI shutdown. She still has awful days and smiley, happy, Abby-times too.

It's breaking my heart every day. I want this to be over so badly, but I can't imagine life without her. I think of her healed and whole and smile. I think of her empty room and can't breathe.
 

Typical, Jeff and I smothering her with kisses while she yells at us. 

Jeff and I have very hard choices to make very soon. Knowing that and actually doing it are very different things. We love her so much, and simply can't help loving her a little selfishly. Through this entire process we've wanted to do what is best for her. I just don't want to miss her like that. I want to hold her. It's all I've ever known.  Accepting it might be time to let go feels like I'm really saying I'll be okay without her smiling face in my life, and that will never true. I feel like doing what's best for her would be the worst thing for all of us who love her.

I always thought it took so much strength to hold on all of these years. Turns out, true strength will be found in letting go.