Stretched thin

Abby is hanging in there. She is still herself, although she has very little energy and ran a bit of a fever today. She answers us, which we all love and appreciate. I didn't know what to expect and no two situations are the same, so hospice couldn't tell me what to expect. We all have had time with her throughout the day today. We hold her and talk to her. She likes the little tooth sponge dipped in apple juice. She sucks on it, and it seems to make her happy. She keeps her eyes closed a lot, but she's listening to what's going on around her. I thought she was sleeping on me today when Jeff mentioned putting Emily in the shower, but she quickly opened her eyes and fussed at him. Very Abby. Overall, she seems very peaceful most of the time.

Emily is my biggest problem right now. That is a completely insane statement considering where Abby is. This time with Abby is heartbreaking, and precious, but there isn't much I can do for her other than be sure she has meds and is comfortable. We hold and love on her, I talk to her and pray with her, and then pass her so someone else can have a turn.

Emily on the other hand needs A LOT! She is very upset that she missed her first day of school. She is fussing with me all day long about going to school, but the little stinker is sick. She is running very consistent 102-103 fevers. 2 hours before Motrin is due it's back up every single time. I'm sure she is not on the right antibiotic and under any other circumstance I would have taken her back in. She's trying hard to eat and drink, but she really doesn't feel well.

Tonight for the first time we heard a few coughs and she seemed to be breathing just a little harder. Thankfully I was able to check her O2 sats when the hospice nurse was here for Abby and knew she was hanging out around 94-95, so even though she's breathing slightly more labored,I feel like she's safe for now. We elevated the head of her bed, and continue to treat symptoms.

I would love to say what a wonderful faith lesson I'm learning, but so far, no. I am exhausted in every way possible. Emotionally, physically, and mentally exhausted. Emily being sick now has added another massive layer. I have to try to make plans for this to go lots of different ways. Hopefully a different antibiotic will turn everything around, but who knows? So far, I've been here and able to spend time with Abby, and I just don't want anything to change that. At the same time, I want to be sure Emily is taken care of. I know grandparents or Jeff could step in with either girl, but I definitely don't want to leave Abby, and I to be absolutely need to be sure that Emily is safe right now.

The pediatrician is coming over tomorrow morning, so hopefully she can help us out. Now, I'm going to get some sleep (I hope). Thanks for all the thoughts and prayers. Even with all that's going on, we can feel them!


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