Besides that, it went as good as something so sad could go. We laughed and told Abby stories, and just enjoyed being with everyone. Some of our fabulous Florida friends were able to come, which made it a very special time for us. Overall, I felt like we honored Abigail.
Sunday was quiet as everyone headed out. We all missed Abby so much when the house was quiet and the looming deadline of the service was over.
The last two days were quiet without her too, and my heart just felt heavy. I miss her sweet smile so much, and then I saw that Emily and Sarah have an early day at school. Abby loved early days. In Florida, every Wednesday was early day, and every Tuesday Abby would squeal, just so delighted about it. When I read the note today, I did it like I always do, as if it's some huge announcement, and waited for the excitement. My heart sank as I was greeted with silence. Emily didn't really care, and Sarah had already left the room. That was solely an Abby moment. Even when she didn't go to school anymore she loved it. I missed her more in that one moment than I had all weekend.
Emily was a rock star at the memorial and after. We went back to the hotel that evening and hung out with family and friends. It was surreal to even be there. Abby would have never done that, so in nearly 15 years, Jeff and I haven't done that. Just relaxed and talked without working our butts off to keep kids happy. Emily loved her Mrs. Mary Beth being there, her friend Skyler came in town, which made her so happy, and my friends bought her a new kindle because hers broke (she threw the mother of all fits about that Friday night). She is enthralled with that thing, so she couldn't have been happier. Her family, friends, and the all-important electronic device made her weekend fabulous. She stayed through the entire memorial service, which I wasn't sure she would be able to handle. All in all...go Em!
She has been more emotional the last few days. She wakes up crying some, and doesn't quite know why. We feel like she misses Abby, like the rest of us do.
Now, I've managed to survive two whole weeks without my child. I'm smelling the roses and I gotta say I don't like it much. There's a reason people leave flowers at gravesides. They are so beautiful, and I love them, but their sweet smell is just a reminder of the reason they are here. Because she's not.
I don't know how to go on without her. I think we did so well at the memorial service, but as I suspected now that it's quiet, it's much harder. We are just going on trying to adjust.
We absolutely felt loved and loved on this weekend. Thanks to all of you who made our celebration of Abby as special as it was.
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