It's surprising to me how much I wanted to be there. Just to be near the last place I saw her. I know that she is gone. Really, I know. I know that sitting at her grave doesn't make me any closer to her. I also don't care that it doesn't, because somehow I feel closer to her there. I wish I could live there and know that she's right outside my window.
Listening to those words float around my own brain feels ridiculous. I just can't help wanting to be where she is. Since I can't be in heaven with her, the next best thing seems to be the cemetery. I might not feel that way if it wasn't such a beautiful place. But, it really is beautiful.
Today, it was rainy and overcast. We almost didn't go, but Emily really wanted to see where Abby was, and we wanted to explain it to her better. She also wanted to see her grandma, who met us up there. So, we packed up the kids and dogs and went.
Jeff thought it would be a good idea to let Glory (the awful, mongrel, jaws-like puppy) run free where there was not traffic, on top of a mountain :/. That definitely disturbed the peace of our moments at Abby's grave, as he and Sarah trampled the mountainside for half an hour trying to catch the little bugger. She finally came back up the gravel road to the cemetery all by herself, having had a grand adventure. She looked quite pleased with herself. Jeff and Sarah eventually made their way back too, not nearly as pleased themselves. Needless to say, little miss Glory will continue to stay in puppy prison while out and about.
It was a long day, but good to go. As we left town, we stopped to get gas and saw this:
The pictures don't do it justice. It was a perfect rainbow. It reminded me that God is a God of healing and restoration. Even when it doesn't look the way we think it should, He is still there.
Even more precious to me, as He has my daughter in His care.
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